舊詩新詞

明知跟神苦，何必苦跟神？
幾番費思量，還是跟神好。

Re-orienting myself

School is entering the third week. Though I am ahead in readings and do revised what's covered in the past two weeks, I still don't feel a very high sense of control.

Probably it's these stuff that's at the back of my mind that affect my sense of control:
- Thesis project
Still haven't met my supervisor nor has she replied my e-mail yet.
- Lack of a textbook
Still haven't got the textbook for a course, so haven't learned anything yet
- Master application is not finished yet
- Some worries about writing any paper, my key weakness
- Road after graduation from this program
Need to get a job after this, but toward where to go is not concretely decided yet
- Preparation for the killing GREs and recommendations

In life there are simply too many variables that are out of control.

As a Christian, it is easy to say that God's in control. Period. Yet when something that's not in the will of ourselves happens, we easily wonder where on earth is God. I am still refining what is the appropriate attitude toward God and toward life.

Last Hours of 20s. Beginning of 30s!

This morning while I was on a bus, I was thinking what good the cognition of our current age did for us. I think Age let us beware of the activities or goals that are appropriate to it. With such a constant reminder, doing something that is inappropriate to our age would cause psychological discord.

I guess I have done something that is suitable for 20s.
- Tried different jobs to see what I really like
- Constantly seriously pursue Christianity
- Flunked 20s
- Love & hate & enjoy & struggle & think & suffer deeply
- Be 100% raw me
- Built up many good solid friendships (thank you!)
- Haven't conformed to the incompatible values and actions
- Played different kinds of sports

Looking forward to 30s
- Get a Ph.D in psychology. Work in the academia
- Capitalize everything I've got from Christianity to serve
- Career 30s
- Experience life in greater depth. Become even more enduring and unintimidated
- Be 100% raw me + better soft skills
- Build my own family

Good-bye, 20s. 30s, welcome!